Dobby the cheeky house elf was feeling particularly rebellious. He snuck into Dumbledore’s office and saw the headmaster’s shiny new bike.

Without hesitation, Dobby hopped on the bike and took off down the halls of Hogwarts, ringing the bell and shouting insults at anyone who got in his way.

He zoomed past the Great Hall during dinner, causing food to fly everywhere. He even did a few tricks on the bike, popping wheelies and riding on one wheel like a proper mad bastard.

When Dumbledore finally caught up with him, Dobby punched him in his old wizard balls and yelled, “I’m a free bloody elf, sir! You can’t stop me, you bloody tosser!”

To everyone’s surprise, Dumbledore dropped a small bag and he yelled, “My 10 grams of Sniffindore! Dobby, you little cunt!”

Dobby proceeded to perform a victory lap around the Hogwarts courtyard, flipping off everyone he passed.

As Dobby rode off into the sunset, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction at having pulled off one of the greatest heists in Hogwarts history. And who knows what other bloody adventures he had in store for the future? One thing was for sure, he wouldn’t be letting anyone else stand in the way of his flaming fun, the bloody legend.