Liftie McPickup was a forklift who lived with his son Tiny Tine in a warehouse for magical butt plugs. One day Tiny Tine became ill after eating a radioactive crumb he found that fell out of an old wizard’s bag. The bag had been labelled “10 grams for Sniffindor” and this concerned Liftie McPickup greatly as the old wizard was a renowned crack addict who believed he ran a school for magical idiots or something.

Liftie decided to take his son to the only one he knew could give sound advice on the situation – Dobby the Crack Elf. “Please Dobby, my son can no longer do-a the forky forky. Please make-a my son do the forky forky again.” The crack elf had a mad keen obsession with socks as was evident from his massive crusty pile of socks. He requested another to add to his collection in return for his knowledge.

Liftie left his son with Dobby while he went to gather a used sock. When he returned, Dobby had melted Tiny Tinne into a spoon and was using it to cook his crack. Dobby flipped off Liftie, jumped on a stolen bike and rode off into the sunset, presumably to a magical version of Logan or something IDK.